lazyinlove | send me a postcard, drop me a line

[Does she know? People don't seem to. He's heard so much shit about it that it's reflex to assume.

But Stephanie is uncomfortable now. And it makes him uncomfortable. When there's a woman in the room, he's not alright with holding any power cards. It makes him think of his family. It makes his stomach churn. He doesn't want her to agree with him, and he certainly doesn't want her to apologize.

He doesn't know what he wants, but whatever it is, it's not on the moon anyway. He drops his face into his hands for a moment, dizzy from all the conversational whiplash.]

Sorry, I...can I have a minute? Can you watch her?

[She's worried, but she nods without hesitation, because if nothing else, she owes him some kindness.]

Of course, take your time.

[She turns so she's sideways in her seat, facing Peace properly and drawing her attention to the markers, planning to show her how to draw on the paper to keep her distracted so that Stanley can leave without too much of a fuss.]

[He isn't sure where he wants to go, but he gets up anyway. He just needs a moment where no one tiny is clinging to him and looking for answers he doesn't have. Because he isn't neglecting her, but he doesn't know how to parent her either. He's not her parent, and he's not a good substitute. He shouldn't have brought her. He thought he'd been saving her, but he hasn't. It was just cruel. He'd known as soon as the bomb went off that he'd gotten it wrong, but by then it was too late. And now he's all she has, and he doesn't know how to be that to someone.

So he jumps up from the table, quickly enough to upset Peace as Stephanie had predicted. But he can't decide what to do next. He starts for the door, then stops, guilty and confused. Peace is crying again. He keeps making her cry. He keeps scaring her by...by what? Making her feel abandoned? Making her realize that she is alone?

It sits on his chest like a rock. He's panicking now, and he knows it. And he really, really can't do that. If he lets himself start that he might never be able to snap out of it. It's not fair to Peace, and it's not fair to Stephanie. And you know what? This isn't fair to him either, damn it. This is bullshit, and it's unfair. Nobody's getting anything good out of this. No one at all.

He kicks a trashcan, and yanks at his hair, and then he squeezes his eyes closed and takes deep breaths. In, out. In, out. Slowly. He can't just throw a tantrum. He's got responsibilities now. He opens his eyes again, starts back to the table to apologize to the girls, then stops again. His insides give a sudden heave and he doubles over the trash bin, giving up the finger paint sandwiches.

That's better, actually. The shaking eases off, the heavy feeling in his middle lets up, the panic dulls to a mild discomfort. And the rush of endorphins eases the embarrassment the situation causes. Maybe he was just sick, and he didn't notice it because there just wasn't time to pay attention to himself lately? Either way, it's a relief. He instantly feels so much better, that even as he spits to clear his mouth, he offers Stephanie a queasy smile.]

Thanks. Sorry. I uh, I meant to get out of the room for that.

[And he did, he realizes. Even if he hadn't been able to identify until it was too late why it was that he wanted to leave the room. But he's okay now, mostly. And Peace isn't crying. Sometimes she eats too fast, too, so she just scoots out of her seat and reaches up to pat Stanley's leg, the way he pats her back for her when she's ill. The gesture is kind of sweet, he decides. She's a good kid. And she deserves to be alive, no matter what anyone else says.]

[At first, she doesn't look at Stanley, bceause she's focused entirely on Peace, trying to reassure her with gentle words and a hand on her back. She's about to pull the girl into her lap when the kick to the trashcan distracts them both, drawing their attention to Stan.

Steph frowns, worried, but she's still trying to calm Peace down, since they're starting to draw looks from the rest of the cafeteria. But then there's the sound of retching and Peace is getting out of her seat to walk over to Stanley.]

It's fine.

[She gets up as well, moving to grab a mug, fill it with water, and bring it back for Stanley.]

You okay?

Think I might be sick.

[He admits, surprised to hear it come out of his mouth. It's the second time in 6 months if he is, and that's weird. He hasn't been sick since like seventh grade. Not besides a few sore throats and little things that only lasted a couple days and never even got him out of school.

Is it stress? Constantly changing environments? Hanging out with tiny germy people? He doesn't really know. But he accepts the water and chugs it, killing the whole mug in a couple gulps. Maybe he's dehydrated, too. That sucks. People are kind of staring.]

But that felt good. My stomach hurts less now.

[Steph scoops Peace up, settling her easily on her hip and bouncing a little on the balls of her feet to keep her amused while they watch Stanley drink.]

You should come to the clinic, we can check if you've picked up a big or anything, and Ashraf can give you a boost if it's just exhaustion. [Since... tiny child and teenage boy; she's sure he's not getting as much rest as he should.] It wouldn't be a bad idea to give Peace a check up, too, just to make sure she's doing okay.

[She thinks it's probably stress.]

[The clinic suggestion makes his nose crinkle comically, like a little kid getting ready to protest against having to drink some elderflower syrup or something. Nooooo, Stephanie, it's icky!

But he manages to bite back on the protest and nod instead. Fine, okay, whatever. If he has to. But there better not be shots involved. If someone says "oops it's time for your lunar immunity booster" he's getting the hell out of there. He just got his booster shots in the fall, and they were supposed to be the last ones the school ever made him get. No more, he's done. Keep the needles away from his ass from now on, thanks.]

[She doesn't miss that look, and it earns a quiet huff of a laugh, because it reminds her of so many little kids she's seen in Gotham and Africa.]

Don't worry, you can both have a lollipop once you're done.

[It's a light joke, easy, but it might be the first one she's really made around Stanley.]

[It's definitely the first time Stephanie's ever made a joke around him. It catches him completely off guard for a moment. Peace reaches over from where she is on Stephanie's hip and strokes Stanley's hair, trying to hum at him the way he does for her. She doesn't understand how it works, though, so it's more of a reassuring amusical buzzing, with accompanying pets.

But it makes him smile anyway. Alright, so he doesn't feel so hot. But the Batgirl doesn't want to murder him in his sleep anymore, and that baby he kidnapped during the most recent apocalypse is a fucking cutie. Even if half the ship just saw him upchuck, things could be a lot worse.]

Are the green ones apple or lime? Because I need to know what the worst case scenario is before I go in there, ya know?

Edited (No autocorrect it's a word I promise...) 2013-10-25 12:10 (UTC)

[That gesture is so cute it hurts, and something wobbles in Steph's smile, but she hides it by pressing a kiss to Peace's hair, shifting a little so the little girl can reach Stanley easier.]

Apple, we're not barbarians. [This is strange, joking around with a kid who just lost his lunch, who's a little bit terrified of her.] C'mon, let's go sit down before someone steals Peace's toys.

[Because clearly children's toys are in high demand.]

Good. Now that I don't have to take care of my teeth I could go for an apple sucker.

[He mumbles back, teasing quietly along with her now that the ball is rolling. He follows her lead, but stops to fill the mug with water again twice more, chugging both of those too before he sits down. His head goes back into his hands -the fluorescent lighting is pretty harsh- but he doesn't seem nearly as miserable as he was a few moments ago.]

Just no cinnamon. There was some in the oatmeal once and it gave her hives.

Losing a few teeth isn't an excuse to get lazy with the rest of 'em.

[She should know, more than a few of hers are fake, dental work helpfully paid for by Bruce Wayne.

Once she's seated again, she settles Peace between her and Stanley, handing her the markers again so she can keep scribbling on the butcher paper.]

I'll keep that in mind, we can probably start medical files for both of you, to keep track of things.

[He opens his mouth to tell her that Peace already has medical history. That he met her in a hospital, in fact. Except...that hospital is gone. Everything there is. His stomach pains him again, when it hits him, and he hunches over. Ow. Maybe it really is just stress.]

Good idea. She uh. She doesn't digest milk too well either. And her ear is kind of...it got messed up. On this side. See?

[She frowns when he hunches over, reaching out to touch his shoulder, a silent offering of support if he needs it.]

I think Ashraf would be able to fix her ear, if you asked him.

[Peace's ear hasn't escaped her notice, but this is the first time she's given it serious thought; there's just a lot been going on.]

Who's that?

[The name isn't familiar, but the comment certainly gets his attention. Is there something they can do for that after all? He didn't know! The doctors at the hospital for the Exsiles said...

Stanley swallows hard, even though there's nothing to swallow down, and wraps his arms around himself tightly. Maybe he has been neglecting her, then. Maybe everyone's right and he's terrible at this. Did he make a little kid suffer through something they could've fixed? That's just great. Just what she needed, after everything else.

Ow. God. His insides. Why hadn't he realized there were magician doctors around? Man, he'd like a magic trick now, too. Anything to make the hot poker feeling go away.]

Do we need an appointment?

send me a postcard, drop me a line

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tl:dr and so much worse sorry ma'am

lmao it's okay

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