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[lazyinlove]

"You've got Stan. Check the number and dial again."

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[lazyinlove]

[Considering the way they met, Stan has never mistaken Nill for an angel. In fact, he' been so wary of her at first. Though he'd worked toward being friendly to her -she really seemed like she could use some friends- he hadn't considered that she might not actually want him to. Reading the message on the screen is the first time it even occurs to him.

Does she think he was creeping on her? Is she disgusted by him? He can't even ask, with the big bite of sandwich still in his mouth. He can't seem to swallow it either, now that there's this weir tension between them. Mentally, he kicks himself. Sure, it went over fine at home, but those girls were his friends. They took him about as seriously as their dogs. Honestly he can't think of a single time in his life that anyone's felt threatened by him. Or even admired, no matter how he tried to drive the point across. They didn't even see him at all, let alone feel disturbed by him.

But you're not in Kansas anymore, dumbass. NIll isn't his friend and she isn't okay with...he's not sure. Best not to touch her a all, probably. It's now that he remembers, with some regret, that she's asked him this once before. When he didn't think she was real and he' touche her wing. She'd been pissed then, too. More than he'd realize at the time, off his face as he was.

He finally manages to swallow the bite of sandwich, but there's this bitter taste in his mouth to replace it. It's not anything to do with NIll, she has every right to tell him to back the fuck off if it makes her uncomfortable, that's fair. It's just the reminder that there use to be people who he could hug and tease and be himself around that stings. He might never see them again, and then what? Then he's some guy who lives in a barn and cons nice people into making him sandwiches to celebrate not dying this year...and then creeps them out and makes them regret it. That's...not a good thought. He tries to swallow around the bad taste again and nods, so that Nill knows she's been hear. Figuratively, at least. Even if it took her asking twice, months apart. He really is a dumbass.]

Sorry. You okay?

[reassures]

[It isn't that she's angry. Nill knows full well that this is an issue that only she really has, that for most people it probably wouldn't even be that big of a deal, maybe just something for them to get embarrassed by. Sometimes Nill could manage that-- not always, but sometimes, if she really knew the person.

But that's not the case with Stan. She likes him plenty, and he seems like a good kid, but she doesn't trust him. Not because he's done anything to deserve not being trusted, she just... hadn't gotten to the point of trusting him, either. She would if they had more time.

She feels badly though, because it's not like Stan has any way of knowing that. And now he thinks the worst of himself and their friendship.]

I'm fine. You didn't do anything wrong. I just don't like being touched suddenly.

Next time a hug would be better-- with a little warning.

[lazyinlove]

[He nods again. Warning for a hug? He's going to have to just make sure that he's always paying attention around her. Hugs aren't the sort of thing he's used to having to plan out. They usually just happen, spontaneously, when it's hard to contain a good feeling and it just sort of takes on a physical form. Almost like a reflex.

Now that it's obviously a problem, though... Well. He'll have to learn to curb it. That's all. He mulls this over for a long moment, still glancing guiltily out the window, and comes to a conclusion about how to try and fix things.

Thanks.

He meets her eyes for that word, and lifts the sandwich in her direction, before setting it back in with the rest of the food and covering it up again for later.

Allergies eyes it hopefully from the rafters, but there's no way he'll figure out how to open it, so Stan doesn't worry. He glances away again and stuffs his hands in his pocket, suddenly shy. Then gratitude is sincere, he's pretty sure she couldn't have questions about that. It's more than he expected to get. The only thing. The fact that it comes from someone who barely knows him and-

No. That just sends a funny pang of homesickness through him again, so he shoves the thought away. It's nice, that's all. He takes a few breaths, watching the newborn penguin chicks wobble their way through hay drifts and fall over. Yeah. Cute stuff is a good distraction, right? It always works on Chris and Michelle and Daisy, anyway.]

Wanna see the goats?